Before I officially start into this post I want to make it clear that, before reading this book, I rarely used the term “Bro” and now, after reading the book, I don’t plan on changing; it just sounds too frat-tastic.

If you’re a fan of the CBS TV series “How I Met Your Mother” then you should be no stranger to Barney Stinson, his relentless philanderings, or the Bro Code itself.  This book is an extension of the show; written from the perspective of Barney…or really just the show’s writers.  It’s fun, quick read and is eerily true in many of its statements.  Enough with the boring stuff though, I know that the only reason you’re reading this is because A) you’re a dude looking for some solid do’s and don’ts with regards to your Bros or B) you’re a chick that’s hoping to steal some enemy intelligence and use it to empower your feminine comrades (perhaps to create your own “Ho Code”?).

The concept of Bros is nothing new, they’ve been around since literally day one (Cain and Abel were totally Bros).  All throughout history there are many shining examples of Bros; Lewis and Clark, Han Solo and Chewbacca, Shaggy and Scooby, Maverick and Goose, Bert and Ernie, etc.  There’s also been some not-so-stellar Bros (Hitler and Stalin or Iceman and Slider) but let’s forget about them for the sake of this blog.

The fact is; guys would not be able to survive without their Bros.  Take the following for example:

Article 94 – “If a Bro is in the bathroom and runs out of toilet paper, another Bro may toss him a new roll, but at no point may their hands touch or the door open more than 30 degrees.”

If it weren’t for his Bro, some unfortunate dude might be in deep shit in such a situation (heh heh).

Bros also serve to guide each other through life, correcting and ridiculing each other when necessary.

Article 67 – “Should a Bro pick up a guitar at a party and commence playing, another Bro shall point out that he is a tool.”

Or

Article 118 – “When A Bro is with his Bros, he is not a vegetarian vegan (ahem…).”

The book also addresses complex issues such as fighting over a girl.

Article 62 – “In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs.  If both calls dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs.  If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs.  If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs.  If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs.  Should the dry spell be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.”

Now I realize I should go on to detail exactly how the book inspired me, or how it made me feel; but to be honest its 11pm on a Friday night (don’t ask me why I’m not out) and this is the most writing I’ve done in probably the past year.  This book is flat out hilarious and I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.  As one final laugh, I leave you with a rule that examines an all too often (and uncomfortable) experience for Bros around the world.

Article 50 – “If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro’s undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.”

And I apologize if my writing skills are not perfect, I was only adhering to The Bro Code.

Article 72 – A Bro never spell-checks.

-MS